Dave walks into a bar and sees John sitting at the end of the bar counter with a great big smile on his face.

Dave says, "John, what are you so happy for?"

"Well Dave, I gotta tell ya ... Yesterday I was out waxin’ my boat, just waxin’ my boat, and a redhead came up to me ... boobies out to here, Dave. Boobies out to here! She says, ’Can I have a ride in your boat?’ I said ’Sure you can have a ride in my boat.’

So I took her way out, Dave. I turned off the key and I said ’It’s either screw or swim!’ She couldn’t swim, Dave. She couldn’t swim!"

The next day Dave walks into a bar and sees John sitting at the end of the bar counter with a bigger smile on his face.

Dave says, "What are you happy about today John?"

"Well Dave ... I gotta tell ya ... Yesterday I was out waxin’ my boat, just waxin’ my boat and a BEAUTIFUL blonde came up to me...boobies out to here, Dave. Boobies out to here! She said ’Can I have a ride in your boat?’ I told her ’Sure you can have a ride in my boat.’

So I took her way out, Dave. Way out much further than the last one. I turned off the key and I said, ’It’s either screw or swim!’ She couldn’t swim!" Dave! She couldn’t swim!"

A couple days pass and Dave walks into a bar and sees John down there crying over a beer.

Dave says, "John, what are you so sad for?"

"Well Dave, I gotta tell ya ... Yesterday I was out waxin’ my boat, just waxin’my boat, and the most desirable brunette came up to me... boobies WAY out to here, Dave. Boobies WAY out to here! She says, ’Can I have a ride in your boat?’ So I said, ’Sure you can have a ride in my boat.’

So I took her way out, Dave, way WAY out ... much further than the last two. I turned off the key, and looked at her boobies and said ’It’s either screw or swim!’

She pulled down her pants and ... She had a dick, Dave! She had this great BIG fucking dick! ... and I can’t swim Dave! I can’t fucking swim, man!!!!!!"

• "News Of The Weird": - jokester 02:18:25 05/29/2012 (7)
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  • Ways To Tell Someone Their Fly Is Unzipped - jokester 02:22:37 05/29/2012
  • One Christmas Eve - jokester 02:22:11 05/29/2012
  • 3rd, 4th and 5th graders - jokester 02:21:13 05/29/2012
  • Joe and John were identical twins - jokester 02:20:36 05/29/2012
  • Dave and John - jokester 02:19:09 05/29/2012

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